he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
