Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
