Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize