All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
