he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
