I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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