The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just tell him i said nine months
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
