So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
