I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
