The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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