I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
