We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize