oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
