That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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