why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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