I hope mine doesn't look like that
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize