I wish I could teleport
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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