You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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