he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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