No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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