I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
