operation harelip BJ is a go
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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