so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
