guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
