so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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