He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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