he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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