Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm sobbing to NWA
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
