I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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