the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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