just come out here and I will go home with you...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
