I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
