Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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