Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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