nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize