remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
