tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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