i permit you to call me
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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