i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
