Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
