i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
