i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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