Little spoons don't ask big questions
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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