I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
