i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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