My room smells like vodka and shame
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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