I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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