I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
