We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
