Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
