He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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