Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I cockslap morals
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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