Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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