I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
