According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
