My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
