So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
