So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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