Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
