I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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