I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize