So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
