How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize