i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize