im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
