Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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