My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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