Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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