I heard we made out
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize