Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
