Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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