you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
