I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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