no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
