You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This girl is more easily done than said...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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