can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
