He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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