Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
